Women. We are taught to walk with others when it is dark. Men should learn to respect single women. We are taught not to expose our skin to the sun and to keep our skirts low. A man who is too hungry for us may become too greedy. A quarter of Belgians believe that sex can be legal in certain situations. Outright disturbing numbers. A perpetrator who has committed a rape may be exonerated from any punishment because it occurred within the context of sexual assault. The public may ask common, yet condescending questions like “What was the woman wearing?” These women are living proof of society’s assumption that women who are visibly drunk, dress provocatively or allow men to misguide them are at fault. It is absurd.
Rape does not have anything to do with the victim’s behavior or dress. The society’s deep-rooted culture encourages us to shift the blame on the victim. Rape can be a very distressing experience. It can cause a person to lose their self-image, and it can also hinder good processing. The victim will be left with a mental injury for life. This victim blaming is not acceptable. I don’t believe victims are sacrificed by anyone outside of me – men or women. Violence is when someone consents to sex. The crime of rape is to have sex without permission. It’s brutal, manipulative, vicious. It is not fair for women to feel guilty because they were too drunk, dressed in provocative ways or didn’t shout loud enough. Even though we could be in lingerie, drunk, in a room with men, we still have the right to say no. We don’t have to be happy with our state of mind, or the way our bodies feel. I only have one question for society: “Why don’t we show a little more sympathy to the woman who was sexually assaulted and will forever be branded with the unjustified fingerprints and bruises?” How dare we normalize victim-blaming? How dare it make victim blaming a culture? It is clear that this crime is motivated by sexualization and objectification of women, and not by their appearance. Women have been held to a very low standard of modesty for far too long. This has only been used to justify and minimize the horrific acts of violence against them. To control predatory behavior, it is important to not suppress the way women dress. It doesn’t matter how modest we perceive ourselves in our clothing choices. If society is serious about equality and freedom for men and women, our outrage at victim blaming should be equally strong. We must do the opposite.
We should not allow any mist to cloud our fundamental values as a society. Stop victim blaming. It must be destroyed. It must be destroyed. It’s not enough to have a small dress that says “yes”, as the victim’s skin shouldn’t be considered a crucial factor in rape. It should be ended because it is wrong to accuse us of being insatiable or deserving of the rape. It is wrong to expect women’s bodies to conform to society’s expectations. End it because anyone can be raped or sexually assaulted at any time and under any circumstances. Stop victim blaming because it creates an illusion of safety that predators and victims will not be held responsible. Stop it, sexual violence and sexism do not exist as minor side effects of society. They are still here.
It is not wrong to mock them openly. This is how we can clearly define an open society. One where women and men are equals, one where each person has the final say on their bodies. Dear society: It is not because women are too sexually inclined or drank. Women aren’t raped if they aren’t careful enough. Someone raped the women. Rape is a result of rapists raping, per se.
